What does depression even look or feel like?

Every 1st Thursday of a full week in October is “National Depression Screening Day.” For this year (2023)’s Depression Screening Day, I was reflecting upon how for many of us, depression can often go unnoticed (even to us) because of what we’ve been conditioned to believe “depression” looks/feels like.

Female looking out towards a purplish sunset, representing a young adult who could benefit from online therapy for young adults in the San Francisco Bay Area, California

For many of us, we might imagine that being depressed looks and feels like being so incredibly sad that you cannot do anything. We might also imagine that being depressed looks and feels like being so incredibly sad that you want to die.

Holding onto these conceptualizations of depression can help protect us in some ways from the shame/stigma associated with admitting that we’re struggling; that we need help. This shame/stigma can be especially pronounce among certain communities such as the Asian American community where bringing attention to ourselves alone is often discouraged; what’s more bringing attention to anything that can sever our family’s/community’s otherwise “good” reputation is unspeakable/strongly denounced.

As an Asian American mental health therapist, I empathize with the temptation to shield ourselves away from bringing shame or judgment onto us and our communities. At the same time, I know that in order to help our communities continue to thrive, we have to tend gently and compassionately, to the parts of us that are more vulnerable. All parts of us need to be cared for, in order for us to sustainably show up for ourselves and others.

With all this being said, here are some less obvious signs of depression to look out for:*

  • Feeling nothing/more apathetic about things, even things that you usually enjoy

  • Feeling the need to stay busy all the time (often, with the hope of distracting yourself from feeling depressed)

  • Finding yourself socially isolating

  • Struggling to make decisions

  • Sleeping or eating irregularly (i.e. you find yourself eating/sleeping noticeably less or more than usual and/or erratically)

  • Getting more easily annoyed with others and/or yourself

  • Experiencing physical/somatic changes, including but not limited to pain, discomfort, or otherwise unusual physical/somatic symptoms (“unusual” meaning outside of what is “usual” for you personally)

  • Feeling like there’s no point to living but not necessarily wanting to die

*If any of the above sounds like you or someone you know, please reach out for support. It doesn’t always have to be therapy but it can be. No shame in whatever makes sense for you. (Please just attend to both your emotional and physical safety with whatever you choose to do).

You deserve it.

A major tenet of Heart In Mind is helping people reignite the “spark” they once had (maybe a very long time ago) for life. This “spark” can get lost if we’ve been in survival mode for a long time due to intergenerational and relational trauma. We may have adopted survival strategies that are now, getting in the way of us living freely and authentically. I would be honored to help you with learning how to get beyond survival mode and towards a life where you can be the truest you.

Sending you lots of care,
Gina


If you’re curious to learn more about my specialties and what it would be like to work with me, you can check out the links below:

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Reflections on recent and recurrent news regarding the Palestinian genocide and Hamas attack: Part 1- Trauma Stewardship