“Fake it till ya make it”?
I’ll cut to the chase here.
I don’t believe that ascribing to the motto, “Fake it till ya make it” helps your mental health and overall health in the long-run.
Sure…in the short-run, it might give us a little boost of self-confidence to take action towards reaching our goals. It might be the thing that helps us to take a chance on something that we end up loving/thriving in.
However, in the long-run, what “faking it till you make it” encourages us to do is to disconnect from a part of us—usually the more vulnerable parts of us that have a lot of self-doubt—that don’t believe or are not confident that we’ll “make it” aka succeed in whatever we have to or want to do.
“When we “fake it till we make it,” we have to minimize or silence our more vulnerable parts. This mimics a core attribute of trauma responses— forcing us to abandon certain parts of ourselves in order to survive.”
- Gina Li
When we “fake it till we make it,” we have to minimize or silence our more vulnerable parts. This mimics a core attribute of trauma responses— forcing us to abandon certain parts of ourselves in order to survive. For example, when our “fight” response is activated, we can often find ourselves abandoning our empathetic side that allows us to see the humanity in others. Or…when our “fawn/submit” response is activated, we can find ourselves abandoning the self-advocate parts of ourselves that help us recognize and stand up for what we need/want.
When we “fake it till we make it,” we prematurely put the brakes on our survival responses—often, without a plan/intention to revisit it…to tend to it with care. All that residual activation from these survival responses stays stuck in our bodies and minds.
This can show up as chronic physical pain, shorter tempers, social isolation/avoidance, tendencies towards tunnel-vision & overgeneralizing, and more. All of this reflects our bodies and minds’ attempts to help us cope with this residual activation—through offering short-term relief and a pseudo- sense of safety.
At Heart In Mind, I am mindful and sensitive to the good intentions behind these short-term “solutions”/tendencies. Working together, we’ll slowly build up your comfort and confidence in expanding your breadth of options/solutions so that you can achieve long-term, sustainable relief and healing without having to necessarily sacrifice altogether these short-term “solutions”/tendencies. You deserve a life that allows you to express all parts of you—as you are now…truly; that doesn’t need you to “fake it till ya make it.”
I hope this was helpful. Until next time, please be gentle with yourselves,
Gina
If you’re curious to learn more about my specialties and what it would be like to work with me, you can check out the links below: